Saturday, February 26, 2005

A good Pun is its own Reword

 
A GOOD PUN IS ITS OWN REWORD
Energizer Bunny arrested - charged with battery.
A pessimist's blood type is always b-negative.
Practice safe eating - always use condiments.
A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.
Shotgun wedding A case of wife or death.
I used to work in a blanket factory, but it folded.
If electricity comes from electrons... does that mean that morality comes
from morons?
Marriage is the mourning after the knot before.
A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
Corduroy pillows are making headlines.
Is a book on voyeurism a peeping tome?
Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.
Banning the bra was a big flop.
Sea captains don't like crew cuts.
Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
A successful diet is the triumph of mind over platter.
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
A gossip is someone with a great sense of rumor.
Without geometry, life is pointless.
When you dream in color, it's a pigment of your imagination.
Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.
Reading while sunbathing makes you well-red.
A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.
When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.
A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two-tired.
What's the definition of a will? (Come on, It's a dead giveaway!)
A backward poet writes inverse.
In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes.
A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.
With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft, and I'll show you a flat
minor.
When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.
The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum
Blownapart.
You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
Local Area Network in Australia the LAN down under.
He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
Every calendar's days are numbered.
A lot of money is tainted. It taint yours and it taint mine.
A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
He had a photographic memory that was never developed.
A plateau is a high form of flattery.
The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
Once you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.
Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.
When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.
Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.
Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
Acupuncture is a jab well done.
Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat.
The poor guy fell into a glass grinding machine and made a spectacle of
himself.

Friday, February 25, 2005

PJ

There was just a big male cat in the back yard. We try to discourage them - so I said to PJ, the dog, (he was napping) very quietly - PJ there's a cat & I open the door. He was still half asleep but got up and charged out the door. Usually he just runs around barking and it takes him a while to see the cat. But he disappeared & he wasn't barking - so I thought I better go check it out.
He had the cat pinned at the front gate - well the cat was so fat it couldn't get
out or too scared to jump and PJ didn't know what to do with it - I'm not sure which creature was more in danger. I called PJ - he didn't want to come but was distracted long enough for the cat to flee over the fence.
Speaking of cats, did you hear about the Tiger that was loose in So. Cal.? They said they "had" to kill it. I really don't know why they couldn't have used a tranquilizer gun on it. I'm still bugged.

Friday, February 04, 2005

Back by Popular Demand :-)

Due to popular demand, I am again posting the events of my fascinating life. teeheehee
Actually I like my life, though it isn't entirely carefree. I'm a student. All my classes this semester are in the SS building which is next to the RAC (sounds like a place of torture, huh?) well, it is in a way (self-inflicted). It is now so convenient that it is hard to pass by - Wednesday I did a class called Abdominal Crunches (kind of like abominable). Now it hurts to sneeze or anything that is jolting and today, I'm going back for more, plus Power Stretches.