Puns Alert

> PUNS  ALERT!
> 
> 1.  The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir  Cumference.  He
> acquired his size from too much  pi.
> 
> 2.  I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out  to
> be an optical Aleutian.
> 
> 3.  She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her  still.
> 
> 4.  A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was  a
> weapon of math disruption.
> 
> 5.  The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in  his
> work.
> 
> 6.  No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be  stationery.
> 
> 7.  A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for  littering.
> 
> 8.  Two silk worms had a race.  They ended up in a  tie.
> 
> 9.  A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall.  The police are  looking
> into it.
> 
> 10.  Atheism is a non-prophet  organization.
> 
> 11.  Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway.  One hat  said to
> the other, 'You stay here, I'll go on  a-head.'
> 
> 12.  I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger.  Then it hit  me.
> 
> 14.  A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the  Grass.'
> 
> 15.  A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a  hospital.  When his
> grandmother telephoned to ask how he  was, a nurse said, 'No  change yet.'
> 
> 16.  The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a  seasoned
> veteran.
> 
> 17.  When ca nnibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of  religion.
> 
> 18. Don't join  dangerous cults, practice safe  sects!
>