St. Patricks Day Adventure

Well, not something I'd planned on - I was awakened at about 1:30 am with a backache on the right-hand side and a slight sense of nausea - felt like a migraine backache - if there were such a thing. So, I got up walked around, visited the restroom several times, took a warm bath, checked out osteopenia on the web - I've recently been put on a medication for osteopenia & one of the possible side effects is backache - oh yeah - I think I'm having a major side effect. I took some calcium, which is needed for the Actonel to rebuild bone and some gator aide, and then a nightime tylenol.
In spite of my efforts my symptoms were becoming intolerable, and I was wretching violently - sounds kind of like flu - except the back thing. So, I call the Dr.s office & then the # for on call emergencies - this is about 4:00 am. The doctor suggests it may be a kidney stone or a bladder infection that has backed up into the kidney, and she recommends that I go to the ER in case it gets worse. My dutiful husband helps me get myself together & out the door. He's so familiar with this routine from his years of caring for his elderly parents - not an especially fond memory & I'm not nearly elderly.
After checking in, and puking, the triage nurse says I bet you've got a kidney stone. And then in spite of my obvious pain I am relegated to the waiting room with a bunch of other sick people and we wait there for what seems an eternity. Mostly I am up and down visiting the restroom, lying on the floor, sitting up, walking around, hoping to come upon a comfortable position - It's like labor without the breaks in between contractions.
Finally I say I need to get the elders of my church for a blessing, my husband who is of a different faith, says to me, "can't I say a prayer for you". Okay Well, on my next visit a few minutes later to the restroom, I'm wiping up and there on the tissue (yeah, I looked - how embarassing) there is this little thing that looks kind of like a mustard seed - well bigger but, smaller than a peppercorn. I take it to the triage nurse - she's very impressed - most people can't pass a kidney stone this big. I'm still sore, but the sick, horrible cramping and nausea has ceased. She tells me to still wait because I'm at the top of the list & I can get in soon. Also, she takes the little irritant back to the ER and there are student nurses who haven't seen the likes, everyone is so impressed. She gives it back to me in a little vial as a keepsake and congratulates me, says my running must have paid off. How did that come up? Oh yeah, it was my 46 beat per minute pulse during the triage process. She says either I'm an athlete or I'm in trouble. I assured her I was in trouble.
When I finally get into an exam room, my nurse comes in and introduces herself and notices the little vial on the side table and says to me " Oh, you're the stone" Yep, that's me, I'm the Stone. Maybe I should change my blog name? Well, I'm home again, after encounters with many people clad in green, bright Irish Green, a urine sample, blood samples, an IV, a cat scan, and couple of prescriptions. Oh yeah, and I'm going to call my doctor and tell her I am definitely not going to take any more Actonel.
One more thing - Happy St. Patrick's Day and may none of us ever Pass this Way again.